Thursday 24 September 2015

My worthless year working for Google

My worthless year working for Google

Barry Collins becomes Google’s lowest paid employee, earning a pittance for his expertise

Forget the stories about Amazon warehouse workers labouring 68-hour shifts for minimum wage; I’ve just spent the past year working for Google for £10.28. Not £10.28 per hour, but £10.28 in total.


Admittedly, the hours have been pretty light. Sometimes I start work at 11.15am and I’m done by 11.16am. Often, I’m not needed for days or even weeks at a time. And even when the job is nose-to-the-grindstone, the work isn’t exactly taxing.

I’ve earned my pittance by answering simple, often random, questions via an app called Google Opinion Rewards (bit.ly/opinion380). This is market research for the mobile generation. Instead of sending a bloke to stand outside WH Smith with a clipboard, Google Opinion Rewards fires questions at you via your Android phone or tablet, sending you a notification each time there’s a new survey to fill out.

The surveys are pretty short and sharp. Most are only three or four questions long, and some go no further than a single question. At the end of each survey, Google drops a few coins in your piggybank for your troubles. The most I’ve ever been paid for a survey is 60p; the least I’ve ever received is a demeaning 6p. There are kids stitching Nike trainers together in Indonesian factories who are reading this on their tea break and tutting.

What type of questions have I been asked to answer for my Google shilling? All sorts. But given that Google knows practically every site and search term I’ve entered for the past five years, it doesn’t seem to know me very well at all.

• “Do you have any investment in copper commodities?” (Erm, I’ve got a jar full of two-pence pieces?)
• “Have you attended a polo competition in the last 30 days?” (You appear to have confused me with the Duke of Westminster)
• “Have you participated in an Ultramarathon in the last two weeks?” (Well, I ran for a bus the Tuesday before last)

In other ways, however, Google’s question setters know exactly what I’ve been up to. Some questions warn that you will be asked “questions about your shopping behaviour based on your recent location history”. Then Google clearly cross-references its tracking data against my answers. For example, I’m routinely asked: “When was the last time, if ever, you visited Tesco in person?” and am given a selection of dates to choose from, presumably to check if I’m telling porkies. If I get that question “right”, I’m asked about my experience of shopping in the store, and earn a further reward for answering more questions. Sometimes enough to buy a tin of beans. Well, a dented tin of beans from the clearance aisle.

I genuinely have no idea what to make of Google Opinion Rewards. Part of me thinks it’s a harmless way to earn pocket money while I’m waiting for the kettle to boil; part of me thinks it’s Big Brother paying the proles a grain of corn to check they’re not lying.

Yet, here’s the saddest part. Google makes its payments in the form of credit for the Play Store. In the year since I’ve been taking these surveys, I’ve only found one app worth paying for. My opinion, I’m afraid, literally counts for nothing.