I’ve never been a big fan of Facebook’s Like button. Some among my friends and family suggest that this is because I’m not particularly amiable or even that I’m downright misanthropic, but I’m inclined to think it goes deeper. It seems to me that people ‘like’ Facebook posts because they have some sort of vague good feeling about a post but don’t really have anything to say. They might agree with an opinion aired, but they themselves don’t have anything to add.
I even suspect that ‘liking’ things is just another way of showing that you’re looking at other people’s posts in the hope that they might look at yours and like them back. I wouldn’t dream of suggesting that Facebook is 95 per cent driven by narcissism and a cringemaking desire for self-validation, but if you wrote that in a post I’d certainly like it – though not enough to add a comment. Words? Thoughts? That’s a little too much like hard work.
Sadly, everyone else seems to like all those likes. Other social networks, such as Google+ and Instagram, liked the like enough to appropriate it. When Apple integrated Facebook into iOS and OS X, it allowed you to like apps too. I sometimes use a web-based office app called Quip, which allows you to like people’s work while they’re writing or editing a document. I’ve even heard that Microsoft is going to introduce likes for Outlook on the web, so people can approve of each other’s emails.
All this liking fills me with horror. Sure, I can see the Outlook thing going down well in the kind of feelgood, upbeat corporations where people like to congratulate each other on a particularly striking message. But forget about someone liking your email. Isn’t it more important they read it, and send a reply if one is required?
Just imagine what would happen if we started liking things in real-world conversations. You’re down the pub with some friends, and every time your boozed-up buddy said something you agreed with, or that made you feel vaguely positive, you said “I like that you said that” or “I liked that snarky putdown” or “I like that you asked if I’d like another pint”. Trust me, you’d never go out with them again. So why is it so different online? Why do we allow all this lazy, thought-free empathising to flourish?
And flourishing it is. I’ve just learnt that Facebook plans to augment its likes with ‘reactions’, which you’ll be able to summon up by holding down the like button. These reactions are pointless animated emoticons (there they are - at the bottom of this page in case you were wondering), revealing to the world that you greeted a post with happiness, love, laughter, anger or – sob! – big, wet tears.
Can you imagine how this will play out? Friend lost their job? Their pet? Their partner? There’s no need to find something thoughtful to say, just click the yellow face with the big rolling tear.
Does something make you angry? Are you really, really cross about speed bumps on your street or teenagers addicted to selfies? Why articulate your anger in the traditional medium of BIG CAPITAL LETTERS when you can simply press the frowny face instead? Has a friend finished the Times crossword? Won a fiver on the Lottery? Swum the channel? No problem. That smug grin with the flushed cheeks says it all.
I hope I’m wrong and that people might still use actual words to express their feelings. I’m not hopeful though. Social media continues to make us dumber, lazier and – in a weird sort of way – less social. And now I’m at it too. I’m going to ditch this column and replace it with one big thumbs-up icon, followed by that big red frowny face.