Where would Mario and Sonic be without these?
1 Leaps And Bounds
More than anything, a platformer needs platforms, things to jump on, leap off and hop over. That, without doubt, is an absolute must. What’s not so necessary, however, is that these obstacles stick to the rules of physics. How often, for example, have you seen games where the things you jump on are just floating in the air, as if held there by magic? Imagine, though, if platform games were based on real life. The biggest hurdle you’d probably have to get over would be when you climb the broken-down escalator in the tube station, on your daily commute. Or perhaps your greatest struggle would be just dragging your tired bones out of bed. Wouldn’t make for much of a game, though.
2 Ice To See You
If you’re a game designer and you create a platformer without an ice or snow level, then you’re doing it wrong. You must have a wintery level – it’s the law. And it must make running more difficult, causing you to slide around all over the place like Torvill and Dean (but probably without the spangly outfit). Of course, you might wonder why someone doesn’t just come along and put some salt down, but as we’ve seen in the real world in recent years, the authorities always seem to be completely unprepared when white stuff falls, so maybe it’s the same in platformer universe.
3 Falling Down
In a world of stringent safety rules and regulations, even a crack in a pavement could be a potential injury lawsuit. So the idea of having vast, bottomless chasms just lying around all over the place doesn’t even bear thinking about – unless, of course, it’s in a platform game. Here, when there’s a huge hole in the ground, the council doesn’t send a team of workmen to put warning signs around it and fill it in with concrete. No, if you’re one of the Marios or Sonics of this world, you just have to try not to fall into themw, because you don’t get to sue anyone if you do.
4 Bossy Boots
The idea of the boss battle makes a certain kind of sense. If you’re at the top of the bad guy tree, you’re probably going to send your lackies in to do the heavy lifting, while you just sit in your plush office, playing solitaire and pretending to work. But that logic doesn’t really apply if you’re a giant monster of some kind, with the ability to crush your enemies while barely moving a finger (or tentacle). In platform reality, though, rather than just quickly trying to destroy the hero before they get too far, bosses always wait until things are getting out of hand and all their minions have been killed, which really shows poor management skills. That said, they probably still get their bonuses anyway.
5 Die Until Dead
Being the hero in a platformer comes with an odd mixture of strengths and weaknesses. On one hand, you can leap great heights and destroy your enemies simply by jumping on top of them. On the other hand, if you walk into them, then you die. The good news, though, is that you come back to life. Great! You die, but you don’t die. Unless you die three times (sometimes five), because if that happens, then you’re really dead. Unless you have continues, in which case you get to die and come back to life all over again. Then when you’ve run out of those, you’re definitely 100% dead. Probably.