I once thought that phone and tablet apps were just amazing. There we were in a new era of lightweight, mobile computing, throwing off the shackles of those big, bloated computers with their complex features that nobody used. Apps were compact, streamlined, smart and – best of all – cheap. They did the jobs you wanted doing faster, and handled tasks you never thought a computer could.
I remember it well: the giddy rush of getting my first proper smartphone or tablet, then installing a flurry of apps that would make my device worthwhile. I read the hyperbole in app reviews that everyone devoured at the time, then installed the apps which – the reviews assured me – would revolutionise my life.
There used to be a sort of aura surrounding the latest apps, as if being unaware of Instagram, Evernote or Flipboard marked you out as backward – nay, Neanderthal – in terms of digital competence. And then there were the games: Angry Birds, Cut the Rope, Plants vs. Zombies, Peggle, Flight Control. Even David Cameron was playing them. Why weren’t you?
Only six or seven years down the line, apps have lost their charm. I still have 48 of the damn things clogging up my Android phone and 33 weighing my iPad down, but how many do I actually use? On my phone, Google’s Inbox, Twitter, Maps, Facebook Messenger and the National Rail app see regular action – maybe WotWine if I’m at the supermarket buying plonk.
On my iPad? Only the browser, the Kindle and Kobo ebook readers, Skype, BBC iPlayer, Channel 4’s equivalent and Netflix ever see the light of day. I quite like these apps, but have they changed my life? Nah, not really. And I can barely remember the last time I installed a new app.
So what happened to this brave new world of mobile apps? Perhaps it lacks the ambition of old. I started to realise the apps I was downloading didn’t really do anything different from what I already had. Then there are the apps that claim they’ll help me work and live better, but which lack the capabilities I’m looking for. Word-processing apps look lovely, but where’s the word-count tool? To-do list apps have dozens of features, but are so laborious to use they become just another tedious thing ‘to do’.
Sure, I can use Snapseed or Luminance to adjust photos on my iPad, but it’s a full-time job getting photos on there in the first place. And when I’ve finished polishing them up, most of my photos have that kind of generic, Photoshopped-to-hell-and-back look about them. Basically, they look like the photos everybody else has polished up using the same apps. And while games like Angry Birds were brilliant for their time, their successors seem to have run out steam. Any creativity is being diverted away from interesting new game ideas toward
ways to get us all coughing up cash for pointless extras.
Most apps are way more hassle than they’re worth, while still radiating a misplaced sense of self-importance. They demand access to your location, your contacts and your camera like they’re the only app that matters. Too many simply run down your battery and throw up pointless notifications on an hourly basis.
Many involve signing up to some account or other, ensuring that long after you’ve ditched the app, you’ll still be plagued by emails about new features and enhancements. In a way, apps have become like the worst kind of girlfriend or boyfriend; the one who drives you crazy while you’re with them, but after you’ve dumped them keeps telling you it’ll all be different if you’d just give them one more chance.
Maybe this explains my reluctance to install new apps. I don’t want the disappointment now or the annoyance later. Maybe a revolutionary app is just around the corner, but until it arrives, I’ll stick with what I know.