None of these are in the T&Cs, but they’re probably even more important…
1 Don’t Drunk Post
Social networking has become completely entwined into the daily lives of many people; every time they have an interesting thought, see something they like or eat something particularly tasty, they share it with their friends and family – or even with complete strangers. Of course, when you’ve had a few too many to drink, pretty much everything can seem worthy of sharing with the world, whether that’s the sublime, the mundane or – more dangerously – the completely inappropriate. Yes, that risque or edgy joke might sound good in your head after you’ve had your fifth Babycham of the evening, but once you’ve sobered up and your better judgment has returned to full control of your body, you might wish you’d left your phone at home.
2 Don’t Be Friends Your Boss
Working your way up the greasy corporate pole is an arduous task at best, so it seems like a reasonable plan to ingratiate yourself with the upper management. What better way than to add them to your Facebook or Twitter friends, so you can get all chummy and perhaps drop hints about that promotion/pay rise/company car you’re after? It sounds good in theory, until later down the line you forget about it and, after an especially tough day in the office, you return home and declare to the world that “My job sucks and my boss is a moron!”
Also, as we’ve mentioned, imbibing alcohol increases your chances of saying something stupid – not ideal if you’re trying to impress your superiors.
3 Don’t Share Everything
If you’re on a social network, then at some point, you’ll have seen someone share a post that says something like “If you agree with this, share it.” And for some reason, people feel obliged to do as they’re instructed, regardless of how inane it is. Not everyone is so easily led, however, and just being told to share won’t make them do so. But give them something to feel smug about, no matter how small, and they’ll be clicking the share button in a flash. “Can you think of a vegetable that doesn’t have the letter ‘a’ in it?” they ask. “Yes!” hundreds of people declare, as they joyously type “Swede”, “Beetroot” or one of the many other possible answers to this deliberately easy challenge. Meanwhile, the person who posed the question is either gathering everyone’s details or just having a good laugh at their expense.
4 Don’t Believe Everything
“When you’re alone and life is making you lonely,” Petula Clark sang in 1964, “You can always go, downtown.” Or if it’s a bit rainy outside, you can online instead and cheer yourself up by getting really, really angry about stuff. Like the fact that a big fast-food chain has been making burgers out of short people, or a prominent politician once killed a man with a plastic spoon and got away with it by being rich and powerful. Does it matter whether any of this is actually true or not? Apparently, it doesn’t, because falsehoods and lies spread around the web faster than the cold virus does around a tube train on the Northern Line. Our advice? Be skeptical of everything, and check sites like www.snopes.com or www.hoax-slayer.com if you’re in doubt.
5 No Game Requests
Thankfully, it’s become far more easy to block Facebook messages from terrible casual games, but wouldn’t it be nice if everyone just stopped sending them in the first place? Of course, that’s never going to happen, because the people who send you these requests have been offered some kind of incentive for getting other people involved in the game. They don’t care if you actually have any interest; they just want those free coins or whatever. It’s no coincidence, of course, that this is exactly the same sort of tactics that drug dealers use, manipulating addicts to their own advantage.
We say go cold turkey for a few days, maybe read a book or two, and try to forget the sweet, rewarding sound of gems exploding and score counters going up.